I stumbled across an article while browsing Facebook at 5am in the morning and it was titled "I'm 22, I don't want anyone to be my whole world". The article was outlining how a young 22 year old female wanted to make life changing decisions for herself alone and not have a companion for the entirety of the ride. I definitely respect her right and desicion myself however being 23 and only really having one serious relationship and it being the one I am still in have a diffrent point of view on the subject.
Now I want to begin with some more general observations and start with the most obvious, I know everyone is unique and different and some people are truly happier alone with peace and quite and that is perfectly fine. Now I personally find that when I am feeling alright I love having people around it both lifts me up and allows me the welcome distraction of many opportunity to help them. I have read a lot growing up as a home-schooled pentecostal girl and I focused on reading the classics and ensuring I had a well rounded and classical education. In all the reading I have done and the short life I have lived the only thing that I have ever seen that you can truly leave behind is kindess for both yourself and others. And so with that in mind I try to stay aware of when I can do or be kind to both those I know and love and complete strangers.
My fiance is in my personal opinion one of the best people I know, not because he puts up with me (although that is a feat within its self) but because he is kind, loving, caring and strong, moral and decisive when it truly matters and makes me a better person just by having known him. Now I will happily admit I am biased but that does not make me blind and I see how few people have many of those quality's now a days, generally you see one or two but not that many in one person. Now before I continue on I want to say this is not a long worshipful article about my fiance but an description of the pillar he has been in my life. How through out all of my pivotal moments his companionship and guidance, opinion and strength have allowed me the freedom to make my own choices but the comfort of his experience and knowledge.
I believe with all my heart that if I had been left to my own devices it would have taken me twice as long or possibly never to reach the personal potential I have found within myself through his love and guidance. I rarely see the need to stop giving, and I love to help people but when I am all tapped out who will help me, who will be stronger than myself and gentler too? You know the answer and I do as well, I am a lucky girl and I promise you I do know that and constantly remind myself of my good fortune.
We stared dating young when I was 19 and there is an 13 year age gap as well. I have always been mature for my age and I have a need to mother everyone and rarely get taken care of in return. Now I am not complaining just explaining why this article needed to be written for myself as a ode to my rock and world, just in case for one moment I look away at all the distractions in life and forget how lucky and loved I am. Now it was a quick commitment within 2 month's of dating we were engaged and within 2 weeks of knowing each other we lived together and this did provide us with some interesting things to learn about one another. But knowing more about who we are fundamentally if we had gotten together any other way it wouldn't have been the same level of commitment on both sides that fostered the love and respect it has taken us to get this far.
Plenty of mistakes have been made and life has been lived and moments treasured and a wonderful foundation for our relationship has emerged after our almost 3 years of hard work. I am at a starting point personally I need to get my mental health figured out and then focus on school but those challenges or any others ones that might surface are made easier by the fact I have someone to share my load and catch me when I fall. He has traversed the journey of school and now only has to find a stable position and then he can get certifications as he pleases. Family wise I have opted to move my parents in with us so I can take care of them better and ensure they have the best quality of life possible. We both want children and are ready whenever it happens and until then we will do our best to love and hold each other until death do us part.
But back to what I was saying, I am 23 and I need someone a very specific someone whom is already a fundamental part of my life & I cant say I know where I would be without him and I am looking forwards to needing him and him needing me for a long, long time.
Just the way its supposed to be :) (at least for me)
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