Hello World

I have started many blogs over these past few years and used various names and such but I never quite follow through and share my thoughts like I intended to when I created the blog in the first place. That is a shame because writing and sharing my thoughts makes me happy and so I will ensure this blog survives where others have fallen. I am 22 years old and will be turning 23 in a few weeks and I am  unbelievably blessed with not only a wonderful partner but great friends and family and hobbies as well. I have a lovely cat (I will write about him quite often) his name is Cartman and he is my fur baby until my human child comes along but he will always be my baby and he is a wonderful cat and I couldn't ask for a better pet and cuddle buddy. 

My job at this moment is not a bad job, it definitely could be worse but its not my favorite by far either. I am however grateful for a job so that I can try to pay off some portion of the debt I have accumulated with my sad lack of self control. Now don't get me wrong its not all my fault but I am making it harder to pay off since I add to it from time to time but I am getting better I promise, I am definitely trying. 

I need to be packing but I am procrastinating for today, I really want to rope. I have a wonderful hobby more commonly know as Shibari or Kinbaku its essentially using rope both artistically and to bind on people. I love rope, both when I tie others and myself. I have recently realized I can tie a small portion of my projects on myself and enjoy the duality of being both the top and the bottom and simultaneously experiencing both sides of the coin. 

I am engaged to a wonderful man, we have been together for a little over 2.5 years now and are looking forwards to being old and grumpy together. He is a wonderful husband, friend and lover as well as my daddy when life becomes to much and I need to lose myself in someone. He gives so much without hesitation and ask nothing in return, and he loves with his big heart and it makes so many peoples lives better. i wish he could just see for a moment what a blessing he is to everyone's life he touches. I cannot wait to marry him but we are waiting on a lot of life crap to work itself out ;)

I'm not going to waste space on all the crap that needs to resolve itself because I know it will eventually and there isnt much I can do until then. But I will focus on the good things I have around me and appreciate and hold onto to them while I can. 

I am definitely not an easy person to love, or live with. I am absolutely crazy, OCD, I can be very childish, I rarely take care of myself, I am very dramatic and nosy but I have a heart the size of Texas. I am black or white no grey or in between either I am the happiest girl on the planet or I want to die (figuratively). I would give my life for those I love in an instant and know they would do the same and my only goal in life is to leave the world a little better than I found it, if I can accomplish that then I will die a happy girl. I value honesty and loyalty more than anything and always try to treat others like I would like to be treated. 

I must say my cup truly runneth over and I pray I will never take it for granted.